RESULT : Skidmarks 5-2 Screaming Weasels

Hey Ladies & Girls,

What do you know, another victory for the Mighty Mighty Skidmarks!!! and against a normally tought opposition. Please see match report below as submitted by Peri "Wilbur Smith" Zourides, I will post some England news & pictures at the end.

"Well another successful game without the “step over” and the “nipple ring”. 5 – 2 over Screaming weasels.

Dom and I were abit worried about possibly not making numbers for the game but thankfully the old skidmark faithful pulled it thru for us.

Team as follows:

Dom” my chest is bigger than yours” Albrecht
Peri “I took my dump at home” Zourides
Mike “I’m still with my girlfriend” Lyndon
Bruce “Around the keeper” Andersen
Ulundi “I go to work in slops” Makhanya
Peter “my gold chain is heavy” Denias
Brendan “got sunburnt on my off day” McNiven

Our first half performance was probably the best half of footy we’ve played (ever). Fluid movement, crisp passing, quick 1 – 2’s, good defending and no fighting.

Things were started off with what can only be described as either sublime skill or pure luck that the moon was in the correct alignment with mars, venus and Lundi’s Uranus. With the ball at his feet on the edge of the area, lundi shimmied abit, shaked abit and then proceed to curl the ball around his defender, past the keeper and into the top left corner. Ala Ronaldinho vs Chelsea, Stamford Bridge.

(editors note) in the second half yours truly maneuvered out of the corner and deftly lobbed the ball over a defenders head bouncing just right for lundi to volley home another skidmark goal. He blasted over the net. Hence the reasoning for the 1st goal and the alignment of the planets.

Back to the action at hand.

In summary Bruce “the matrix” Andersen finished off them weasels almost single handedly, scoring 3 before half time to make it 4 -0 to skidmarks at the break and then adding his 4th to complete the victory.

Some Matrix highlights:

With a touch that Theirry Henry would be proud of the Greek lays the ball off to Bruce to hammer low and hard for our 2nd goal.
After receiving a free kick for a foul on the baby rhino, matrix steps up to pile drive a free kick into the top right hand corner. (2nd editors note: Dom’s participation in this move should not be under estimated as his sheer presence was enough to distract the defending teams players into not even looking at Bruce, who fired the ball within millimeters of doms face, possibly scraping his ear)
After dispossessing a weasel Bruce was set free and 1 on 1 with the keeper rounded him like a lesbian avoiding Brad Pitt
Cant remember exactly the build up to the final goal, but once again the deft touch of the Greek (or a completely scuffed shot), setup Bruce for his 4th our final goal.

The weasel’s goals were both fortuitous.

Goal 1 bounced of Brendan’s shoulder, hit the under side of the post and the cross bar, suspiciously landed on or near the line and was awarded.

Not sure how the ref managed to see that cause I was closer than him and didn’t see it. Think he felt abit sorry cause we were all over them, either that or its because he shaves his legs.

Goal 2: ball was lofted into our area and with Brendan advancing out of his goal, one of them weasels flicked his heel at the ball with his back to goal and it trickled over the line.

Our score could have been increases after we were awarded a penalty (“ref how is that a penalty?” said the man lying on floor after using his hands to push it away)

Well yours truly stepped up only to have bar/post halt his skidmark goal glory. Upon closer inspection the framework was still rattling at the end of the game due to the sheer velocity of the strike, maybe next week.

So things looking good, some tough games coming up but hopefully we can continue the good form.

Until next week, or whenever I get some more porn."

Golden Skidmarks stands like this @ present :

1. Bruce "Told you he would win the Golden Skidmark" Andersen - 5
2. Dom "Scarface" Albrecht - 2
3. Richard "Zeus" Kenny - 2
4. Luke "There's only 1 Ginja Ninja" Hatfield - 1
5. Peri "Roald Dahl" Zourides - 1
6. Ulundi "Ronaldinho/vice - captain" Makhanya

Well i started my job yesterday, so i was only unemployed in the UK for 6 days which is OK, and my rands are starting to run as dry as Garys sense of humour.....

This weekend saw us visiting our dear Grandmama in the thriving metropolis that is Halifax!

We managed to find a "Cane Train" to ride on, its name was Ivor, see pics below...choo chooo :




Hope you enjoyed those, we managed to get our first bit of footy under our belts since we got here, tonight. We practiced with a team called Lancing Old Boys Football Club and should hopefully be turning out for them in a match on Saturday, will keep you informed. The worst bit is.....wait for it...their captain "Billy" is a ginger.....and his friggin' nickname - which i add was on his shirt - is Ginja Ninja, spelt the same and everything...I can't believe that people in England have heard of me? I was really flabbergasted, i even asked him if he read about me on the blog and he looked at me all weird? So he must have just heard about me through word of mouth....