RESULT : Skidmarks 5 - 3 Mbambo Team

Good Day All!

Another fine performance by the mighty Skidmarks last night saw us stride to a hard-earned 5-3 victory over rivals Mbambo. We have been known to crush them like wuuurms in the past but they have rejuvenated their team with some new signings and were a much tougher prospect than previous years.

We went 1-0 down early one but didn't let our heads drop and came back to 1-1 when Dom "I have a large chest" Albrecht, seemingly trapped in the corner heard Luke "Spurs r shite" Hatfield called for the ball near post, The Baby Rhino obliged with a clever ball of the wall which The Ginja Ninja scruffed through the keepers legs. We took the lead shortly after when The Ginja Ninja played a neat ball across the face of goal for Dom "I can like tap ins" Albrecht to tap in the net. This lead was short lived as Mbambo fought back to 2-2 with some naive defending and with Peter "I scored one goal and think i am a striker" Dunias running around like a headless chicken up front we were a little exposed. However, Gary "Grandpa Featherbottom" Hatfield played possibly the ball of the season (Peri "Ronalidinho" Zourides had last seasons best ball), off the wall, behind the defence straight into Mike "Wunderkind" Herb's path, for him to smash home on his return to the team and to cap our 11th goalscorer of the season....truly a good team effort!

Into the second half, 3-2 up and Dom "The Baby Rhino" Albrecht played a cheeky, sublime ball to the feet or Ulundi "Mike Tyson" Makhanya who sometime shimmied and shaked his way into a shoioting position, and shoot he did....4-2! Mbambo managed to pull one goal back but with them pushing forward for the equaliser, we were able to break, with the Hatfield brothers bearing down on the Mbambo goalkeeper, all he could do was try not to make a poo in his pants, and even though Gary "Fat Bum" Hatfield sold him a little short, The Ginja Ninja was able to get in the way of the ball to claim his 2nd goal and make the scoreline 5-3. There was a little later drama when Peri "P" Zourides handled in the box but Brendan "B Dogg" McNiven tipped the ball onto the cross bar from the resulting penalty.

And Dom, don't think we forgot about that awful "chest down" of yours, we will have words with you next week!

The team last night was :

1) Gary "My thumbs sore" Hatfield
2) Luke "Ginja Ninja" Hatfield
3) Ulundi "Stevie G" Makhanya
4) Mike "Wunderkind" Herb
5) Brendan "Jack Daniels" McNiven
6) Peter "The Hairy Greek" Dunias
7) Peri "P" Zourides
8) Dom "The Chest" Albrecht

GOLDEN SKIDMARK STANDINGS

1) Luke "It's mine, it's all mine" Hatfield - 11
2) Gary "The Canoeing Carguard" Hatfield - 5
3) Dom "Ballack is crap" Albrecht - 4
4) Peri "P" Zourides - 2
5) Ulundi "Stevie G" Makhanya -2
6) Peter "Coming out of retirement" Dunias - 1
7) Bruce "The Matrix" Andersen - 1
8) Ricky "Daddy" Arnold - 1
9) Rhys "The Lawnmower" Davies -1
10)Richard "Fred" Kenny - 1
11)Mike "The Ultimate Man" Herb - 1

Here is the league table, NOT including last nights game :



Thanks for the votes on the dance off! Here are the standings thus far :

Congrats to Ricky "Daddy" Arnold who has a mini-Arnold on the way!!!

For those of you who don't know Gary "Spanky G" Hatfield and Luke "Ginja Ninja" Hatfield will be relocating to spread the gospel that is the Hatfields throughout the British Isles and the rest of Europe. Gary is going on 12 September and myself on 14 October, so if you are in the UK in the near future pop us a mail on lahatfield@gmail.com or garyhatfield@gmail.com .

We will be having a joint farewell on Saturday 9 September....so watch this space and keept that night open.

Thats all for now, will have more on the way soon!

Online Dance Off

Ok well before i get to the matter @ hand, Mondays game is @ 20:45 vs Mbambo incase any of our 3 supporters wish to come down and support us, but moving along to why we are all here.

Over the past couple weeks i have been collecting various clips of dance moves from around the country, i have narrowed it down to a final 6! and this is where i need u, the discerning reader to vote for you favorite dancemove...thank you very much!

I apologise for some clips being sideways and the message that appears briefly on the clips, i am working on that!

a) The Canoe
b) The Crazy Zombie
c) The Robot / Worm / Running Man
d) The Carguard
e) The Group Can Can
f) The i have no name dance
g) The Public Worm

RESULT : Skidmarks 8 - 1 Pixel Fusion

AND WE ARE BACK!!!!!!!

Finally a good result and a good team performance all round....yes Fred, round is a shape too :)

A couple late cancellations, i won't mention any names though Peter "I scored 1 goal & now am retired" Dunias and Bruce "Mr Reliable" Andersen!!! But we managed to scrounge together an extra player in the form on Richard "Zeus" Kenny and managed to take the number of individual goalscorers this year to 10. Good to see we have learnt to share....well i haven't but i guess Dom "Current Golden Skidmark" Albrecht & Gary "I think i can toe poke" Hatfield have decided to. Well done guys.

So back to the game, starting team for the night was :

1) Gary "Tighty Whities" Hatfield - 1 goal
2) Luke "Tanga's" Hatfield - 2 goals
3) Richard "Zeus" Kenny - 1 cracker of a goal
4) Peri "" Zourides - 1 goal
5) Brendan "" McNiven
6) Dom "" Albrecht - 2 goals
7) Ulundi "" Makhanya - 1 goal

I seemed to miss most of the goals on Monday night so here are the views of the prosepective players, from their mouths/keyboards....i cannot guarantee an objective view like when i describe my own goals...which is very often!

Dom "Empty Net" Albrecht

"My first goal - lundi got the ball in the corner, slipped a gentle pass inside to fred who expertly chipped the onrushing keeper for me to tap into an empty net.

The second i caught the keeper in midfield and made him look a bit silly before sliding the ball into another empty net."

Richard "I played 90 minutes" Kenny

"A speculative long ball was played out the back, which the defence failed to deal with.
The Baby Rhino took the ball to the corner and layed in back into my path.
, i thumped it into the top corner, rumour has it that the earths rotation was altered by one second as the ball hit the back of the net"

Peri "2 versions" Zourides

"My version:

After displacing a helpless striker in our half I played a neat 1 – 2 with Lundi and then proceeded to shimmy, shake and shibobo my way thru the opposing defence after which I played a sublime ball to Gary “throw my foot at the ball and score” Hatfield who returned the favour with a crisp thru ball, with me following up and ripping the top corner of the net for the evenings best goal.

The blog version:

Dispossessed opposition and broke playing a ball out wide. Cut thru the middle and received a pass from Gary on the left, hit the ball side foot under the keeper.

Prefer my version"

Ulundi "I like to embelish" Makhanya

"You can't remember it?!!
Well, I can't really remember too much, but what I remember was....
...((feel free to add name, as I am not sure who)) took a shot from outside the area. Lundi, using his predatory skillz ghosted into the area unnoticed. With what was almost a sixth sense, Lundi knew where the ball was going to land before any of the defenders. He noticed the fear in their eyes as they all realised that the ball was going to drop to the oppositions most deadly finisher. Coolly, calmly and with a certain element of panache, Lundi placed the ball between the keepers legs for his opening goal (and closing) goal of the season.

I thank you!"

Gary "Feeder" Hatfield

"the defender was shilding the ball, so a flung a speculative foot at the ball, which somehow made the slightest contact with the ball, which then somehow, inexplainably crossed the line from an acutre angle"

i do believe the spelling is shielding and acute, and i don't think inexplainably is a word...? maybe unexplainably ?, thanks goodness i write this blog - Ed...(i have always wanted to be the Ed!!!)

Luke "Ginja Ninja" Hatfield

"With the scores still deadlocked @ 0-0, The Ginja & The Baby Rhino launched a 2 pronged attack against the lonely and helpless pixel defender, like a rabbit in the headlights he showed a moment of weakness, The Ginja had to decide dribble the defender and have a left footed shot or pass to The Baby Rhino on his dreaded left foot....he took the former, sold the defender like a packet of chips and toe poked past the on-rushing goalkeeper"

"Late in the 2nd half with the game wrapped up & Pixel Fusion leaving gaps at the back, B Dogg launched a monstrous throw-out over the head of the despairing defender, The Ginja Ninja & Baby Rhino were once again left to fight it out...The Ginja Ninja won once again, thumping a left footed volley past the helpless goalkeeper"

Thanks for the effort guys but you can now clearly see why i am the one who writes this, and not you!

The standings for Golden Skidmark are :

1) Luke "You not gonna catch me" Hatfield - 9
2) Gary "UK" Hatfield - 5
3) Dom "The Baby Rhino" Albrecht - 3
4) Peri "Left Foot" Zourides - 2
5) Peter "Retired" Dunias - 1
6) Bruce "The Matrix" Andersen - 1
7) Ricky "Allisons Brother" Arnold - 1
8) Rhys "Rice" Davies -1
9) Ulundi "I scored before Richard at least" Makhanya -1
10)Richard "The token beat me" Kenny - 1

Well done guys, i said 10 individual goalscorers last week and we did it.

Even B Dogg came close to scoring last night, hitting the post in the 1st half with an audacious outfield run and forcing the keeper into a save in the 2nd half!

For those of you who don't know Gary "Spanky G" Hatfield will be retiring from The Skidmarks @ the end of the current season to pursue his footballing career in Europe, specifically the UK.

Toetsins (how do u spell it??) Spanky G!

Speaking of Gary "I drive a girls car" Hatfield, anyone wanting to buy his car, Golf 4 Cabriolet - Silver, let him know on garyhatfield@gmail.com

In honour of Gary "What the f#ck are you wearing?" Hatfield, here are a few pics of him being him!





And last but certainly not least, a big shout out and R.I.P to Chris Uitzinger Snr who passed away on Tuesday 22 August 2006, aged 80 ! Keep it real Oupa and say hi to Ouma in heaven!!!

RESULT : Skidmarks 2 - 3 JR Design

What can you say, 2 defeats in a row, no wins in the past 3 games for the Mighty Skidmarks, it's all gone a bit pear-shaped for the boys in white & red.

What was built up as a bit of a grudge match for the past couple weeks turned out to be an intense but clean game, lots of good football on show, just without the result we had hoped for. I think we may have been slightly intimidated by the 2 professional players the opposition had drafted in for this game but all in all to lose 3-2 after being 3-0 isn't too bad and the opposition must have been very scared of The Skidmarks to feel the need to "load" their team for this particular game. So whilst we may not be winning the league this year, we still have a lot to be proud about because we played really well on Monday night.

The team was as follows :

1) Gary "Euro Trip" Hatfield
2) Luke "Birthday Boy" Hatfield
3) Dom "Fontana" Albrecht
4) Rhys "Rice" Davies
5) Peri "England 4-0 Greece" Zourides
6) Ulundi "BEE" Makhanya
7) Jonathan "Roast Chicken" Hancock
8) Brendan "Spitroast" McNiven

The goals were scored by your very own Ginja Ninja & on his debut for the Skidmarks....Rhys "The Lawnmower" Davies! (although he looked more like a bulldozer when he ran through for that goal!)

As i said, we were 3-0 early in the 2nd half and managed to claw our way back to 3-2 and had enough chances to sneak the equaliser but the ball was like Gary @ a gay club......not wanting to go in :)

"But again, good performance, we played well and can hold our heads high" - Ginja Ninja 2006

Thanks to our supporters for their almost 100% support for the game :) i won't point any fingers......Ernie!

Have some fantastic videos to post....just need to get my finger out my arse and put them up....watch this space!

Standings for the Golden Skidmark :
1) Luke "Ginja Ninja" Hatfield - 7
2) Gary "Jack Nicholson" Hatfield - 4
3) Peter "There is more where that came from" Dunias - 1
4) Bruce "The Matrix" Andersen - 1
5) Dom "The Baby Rhino" Albrecht - 1
6) Peri "Left Foot" Zourides - 1
7) Ricky "Allisons Brother" Arnold - 1
8) Rhys "Rice" Davies -1

8 individual goalscorers? that must be some kind of record? and Lundi & B Dogg still need to open their account for the season. That is the aim for the season i think, get 10 different goalscorers? Lundi - try the toe poke, it works for me....

RESULT : Skidmarks 4 - 5 Samba Boys

Yes, you read it right, somehow we managed to lose what really should have been a walk in the park for us. Maybe complacency set in, but we only have ourselves to blame. Letting the opposition get 3 goals ahead of us in the first half was our first mistake and even though we managed to pull the scores back to 4-4, all the Samba Boys needed was a goal in the last couple of minutes which they got to condemn us to our first defeat of the season.

This will be a slightly sombre post which is all that can be expected with a result & performance like we had on Monday night.

Team for the game was as follows :

1) Ricky "Allisons Brother" Arnold
2) Gary "One Trick" Hatfield
3) Ulundi "Cash Machine" Makhanya
4) Luke "Toe Poke" Hatfield
5) Peri "Left Foot" Zourides
6) Brendan "I got a new tattoo & a new puppy" McNiven
7) Peter "I also got a new puppy" Dunias
8) Bruce "what can i put here?" Andersen

The scorers of our 4 goals were as follows :

Luke "Toe Poke" Hatfield (2)
Peri "Left Foot" Zourides (1)
Ricky "Allisons Brother" Arnold (1)

Which means the Golden Skidmark stands like this :

1) Luke "Ginja Ninja" Hatfield - 6
2) Gary "Jack Nicholson" Hatfield - 4
3) Peter "There is more where that came from" Dunias - 1
4) Bruce "The Matrix" Andersen - 1
5) Dom "The Baby Rhino" Albrecht - 1
6) Peri "Left Foot" Zourides - 1
7) Ricky "Allisons Brother" Arnold - 1

This weeks fixture is vs JR Design @ 20:45 . . . it is going to be one helluva tough match but if we play like we have in previous weeks we can beat them...if we play like we did last week...we'll get punished like a red-headed stepchild.

Ok so, because i was as amusing as a fart in an elevator today, here a couple cartoons to lighten the mood!

FIXTURE : 07 August 2006 @ 20:45 - The Skidmarks vs Samba Boys

Please see next weeks fixture above. Hopefully the weather will be warmer on Monday although according to recent history, Skidmarks function better in the cold than The Samba Boys. We need to punish them like runaway slaves ©

Then my thought for the week was....this weather right....it last snowed in the Jhb area in 1981 and whilst there wasn't a lot of snow that fell this week, some definately did fall. So that got me thinking, what could the catalyst for this event have been ? What natural phenomenon occurred recently that could have triggered this event....and then it came too me.....Peter "Put your back into it" Dunias "scored" a goal.....yes that must be it.....coincidence, i think not!

It's like that movie Final Destination, Peter "The Greek" Dunias messed with fate and the course of life on earth as we know it and thus Mother Nature has reacted accordingly. I was thinking of going to the press with this story but the only problem is, is that some scouts will probably come watch us play then and The Greek will probably get tapped up and go play for another team....so let's just leave it between us shall we ?

Ok, so I was in Cape Town last week doing some work right and we also all know about Ulundi "Bill Gates" Makhanya getting his drivers license and car etc. etc. Now we all know about BEE and stuff in this country but Lundi must be doing bladdy well for himself because at the V & A Waterfront he appears to have his very own parking garage.



Yes you heard correct, whilst it is hard to believe Lundi has so much cash (especially seeing as though he delayed payment of last weeks game by a week....) I thought the only way to prove myself was to take some pictures....and here are the results. So Ulundi "Rockafella" Makhanya, drinks are on you next week!

Thanks Gary "Fat Bum" Hatfield for the "Who let the bloggs out" line.....you too can have your line featured...just click here : lahatfield@gmail.com

RESULT : Skidmarks 2 - 2 Screaming Weasels

It was definately a night of mixed emotions last night, the disappointment of dropping 2 points in a game we really should have won and then the absolute elation and ecstasy of witnessing Peter "The Greek" Dunias "scoring" his first goal...i will explain the reason i say "scoring" a little later!

The team for last night was :
1) Dom "The Baby Rhino" Albrecht
2) Ulundi "Tata Ma Chance, Tata Ma Indica" Makhanya
3) Gary "Party in his pants" Hatfield
4) Luke "That ref was a *%$@#@&" Hatfield
5) Peri "P" Zourides
6) Ricky "Stoke City" Arnold
7) Brendan "3 on 1" McNiven
8) Peter "Praise the Lord, Hallelujah!!!! he finally scored" Dunias

We were a little short this week with The Ginja Ninja's hamstring playing up and the loss of Bruce but we brought in the more than capable Rickyi "Stoke City" Arnold for this game. Thanks for the referral Allison "Ching Ching" Arnold!

We got off to a good start with The Baby Rhino slightly losing control of the ball in the box - who would have thought The Baby Rhino's first touch doing that :) - but the ball fell invitingly to Gary on the edge of the area who thumped the ball emphatically into the net - 1-0. We kept pressurising the opposition but as is always the case their goalkeeper was in superb form.

The referee then suffered his first moment of madness when he awarded the opposition a penalty for a supposed 2 on 1 tackle when the Ninja had failed to clear the ball from the corner. Very dubious decision....Screaming Weasels converted the penalty to make the scores 1-1.

Thats the way it stayed till half time, 2nd half we continued the pressure but their goalkeeper was like Fat Bastard in goals with nothing getting past him. Then somehow the ref missed a 2 on 1 tackle on the Baby Rhino deep in our half and from that the opposition managed to lob B Dogg to put them 2-1 up.

We again began pummeling the goal but to no avail until.....we received a decision in our favour for a change, a free kick about 3 metres outside the area with about 3 minutes left to play. There was a lot of jostling going on in the area and The Ginja Ninja decided the customary toe-poke at goal was called for, the shot was on target but was covered by the goalkeeper BUT Peter "Put your back into it" Dunias sneezed or tripped into the path of the ball, which deflected off his back and into the top corner....hence the term "scored"!!! 2-2

We had chances to win on the closing stages and because we were pushing up so much, we were left exposed at the back and with 20 seconds to play the Weasels broke with 3 players and just lonely little B Dogg in goals. Somehow he pulled off 2 incredible point blank saves and recovered the ball in time for the ref to blow the full time whistle!

Golden Skidmark is as below :

1) Luke "Ginja Ninja" Hatfield - 4
2) Gary "Jack Nicholson" Hatfield - 4
3) Peter "There is more where that came from" Dunias - 1
4) Bruce "The Matrix" Andersen - 1
5) Dom "The Baby Rhino" Albrecht - 1

The ironic thing is, is that my next poll was gonna be "Will The Greek ever score a goal ?" - guess that one is settled.

Here is the log exculding last nights game, as u can see, the teams to beat as per usual will be Village Idiots and Euro Utd! Gotta keep that goal difference up guys!



Will post next weeks fixture shortly, again i remind you we are going to have to be doing some "shuffling" in the coming weeks to accomodate all players so don't go home and gas yourself if you get "rested" for a week :)

Watch this space for some pictures of Lundi's garage now that he has his drivers and well as the real Super-Chop!